If You Met You (Observing YOU)
If you saw a person who looked just like you walk past you on the street, what would your first impression be? How would you judge them? By the clothes they wear? By the shape they’re in? By their physical features?
What would you notice? Would you want to approach them? What kind of vibe do they give you?
Now getting to know that same person. They’re just like you. Same mannerisms, same habits, same opinions, likes and dislikes, wants and don’t want’s, what would conversation with them sound like? What would you talk about? Would you enjoy a conversation with them?
What would bother or annoy about them? What would you appreciate or admire about them?
When you criticize others, it’s yourself that you’re criticizing. What are you criticizing them on? What do you criticize yourself about?
Take a few moments to listen to that inner voice. The voice that you try so hard to shush. The one that tells you everything you’ve done wrong and everything you’ve ever screwed up. The voice that reminds you of every poor decision you’ve ever made and tells you what a horrible person you can be sometimes.
Without judgment, what are you criticizing yourself for?
Do you wish you’d made different decisions? Do you wish that life had gone in a different direction? Are you kicking yourself for mistakes you’ve made?
Look at the scars on your body. What do you feel when you see them? Is it shame? Is it embarrassment? Are you proud of the story that created that scar?
Feel the aches and pains in your joints or muscles. Breathe into them and notice what your body is saying. Is your energy flowing through your body down or up your spine? Can you feel the knots? The tension? I can in my neck. They fade a little sometimes more than others. I can feel that. What do you feel?
Close your eyes and envision the person that IS you. The YOU at your best, looking your best, feeling your best, loving yourself and content with your life. What is the difference between that person and you?
Would you have to lose or gain weight? Is there a difference in attitude? Get to know the YOU in the mirror. Get busy doing that so you don’t have time to worry about what anyone else is doing, thinking, or saying.
Spend some time getting to know this person.
Learn to love this person. Be the friend you wish you had. If you don’t like that person, that’s ok. Many people don’t. They realize how judgmental, opinionated, and critical they are.
When you notice yourself criticizing others, take a moment to ask yourself some of these questions. Give yourself a moment and get to like yourself again, or maybe for the first time.
You can’t change other people, their opinions, their feelings, or their experiences. What are you hoping they’d say to make everything ok? You can’t change that about them to make you feel better? It’s not up to them to make you feel better. What can you change about you? What would make you feel better about you?